C’mon, who didn’t ever own a Nokia 3310? After all, if you had one of these babies in the playground, you were virtually the bomb. Now for the shocker: this week, the 3310 celebrated its 15th birthday – and if that doesn’t make you feel old, I don’t know what will.
While we’ve grown used to the fancy cameras, apps and ability to browse the internet for more than 20 seconds on our iPhones and Androids, there’s something to be said for just how awesome the Nokia 3310 was. Here are just a few things we miss about our old reliable bricks:
You rarely had to charge it
Nowadays we pick up our iPhones to make a quick call and the battery drops by 67%. None of that with the trusty 3310. It had 260 hours of standby battery which, of course, lasted forever because most people just used the landline anyway.
It had a pretty sexy indestructible design
The 3310 was the phone everyone aspired to have. With its compact size, sleek two-tone cover and easy-to-use buttons, it was pretty much the sex. None of those connected buttons of the Nokia 3410, eurgh. We had standards.
The games were epic
Before Candy Crush, FarmVille and the incessantly frustrating Flappy Bird, there was the phone game to end all phone games: Snake II. Armed with the ability to go through walls, collect bonus bugs and dodge obstacles, Snake II inspired a whole generation of gaming addicts.
And then you also had Bantumi and Space Impact – arguably not as good, but still useful as a side game when you needed to calm the fuck down from colliding into your own snake tail just before you beat your previous high score.
You could get creative with the covers
There was no point having a Nokia 3310 if you weren’t going to jazz it up. Were you going to go for some wacky see-through design, or a case emblazoned with the face of your favourite cartoon character cos you were, y’know, like sooo crazy. Or were you going to be the lamest person in the school (like me) with a Will Young Pop Idol design?
And then there were those who just kept it simple with a plain cover. They were judged. Silently.
We were all basically DJs
Move over Beethoven – with our Nokia 3310s we could all turn into 18th century musical composers, busting out the latest Spice Girls or Nelly track with the simple tap of a few buttons. And, of course, you could only store five songs, so it was a great chance to re-evaluate your music tastes and reinvent yourself on a near-weekly basis.
The logos were pretty spectacular
Magazines were jam-packed with adverts of logos you could download (for a month’s pocket money) for your phone. Anyone who was anyone had a flying heart logo, but then there was always someone who went a bit left-field with black and white logos of a beach or ‘I love you’.
Welcome screen greetings were an option
Y’know what iPhones and Androids are missing? The personal touch. With the Nokia 3310 you could change the greeting that was shown when you switched it on…because nothing says ‘forever alone’ more than writing ‘Hello!’ to your future self.
They were the Chuck Norris of phones
The Nokia 3310 could basically survive a simultaneous nuclear blast, sink hole and tsunami. We still have no idea what happened to ours, but it’s probably still in one piece and fully charged.