What Would An American Hogwarts Be Like?

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Potter fans are more than familiar with Hogwarts, the British school of witchcraft and wizardry. But little is known about its American counterpart. Of course, we know that Newt Scamander visited New York in the 1920s, which spurned on all the events of Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find ThemAnd we also know that witches and wizards are governed by The Magical Congress of The United States. But we still have this Texas-sized hole in our American wizardry knowledge. For instance, where is the American school based? And just how are the wand-wielders on the other side of the pond affected by the American culture?

American Hogwarts: just what is it like?

Luckily, Reddit has come to rescue once more. Redditor limbodog, posed the question: ‘How would a school for Magic in the USA differ from Hogwarts?’ It’s a cracking question. Why didn’t we think of this before?!

What would an American Hogwarts be like?

Some people, like WeimarRepublic, put serious thought into their answers:

‘Too many people in the USA for there to just be one school.

You’d have your New England Academy trying hard to emulate the Europeans with their own take on Hogwarts. Oldest wizarding school in North America, stays true to the classic magical arts. Very expensive, has a reputation as being snobby.

Out in the Midwest you’d have the Great Lakes University. They pride themselves on being completely homegrown American and have engineered quite a deal of new ‘American-style’ magic. Instead of houses they have fraternities/sororities. Has a reputation as being split between geeks and jocks.

In the South East you have the Mississippi College hidden in plain sight along the banks of the grand river. It was founded by revivalist preachers wandering from town to town seeking out gifted youngsters decades after their own wizards were disbanded following the Civil War. Lacking in established tradition, their magic is a cobbling of fractured bits and pieces of classic, Native American, and traditional African magics. Has a reputation of being a bit behind the times.

In the West there’s the University of California at Mt. Shasta. Established by the State of California to fill the need for a wizarding school on the West Coast, the school was built in old mines left by silver-seeking goblins in Mt. Shasta. There seems to be a split between ‘new age’ wizards seeking to better understand the universe through love and peace charms, and ‘silicon’ wizards seeking a bridge between magic and the muggle revolutions in computing. School is known to be overpopulated and underfunded.

Other schools?

Texas would probably have their own. They have their own power grid, so why not. Alaska is feeling a bit left out all alone up there. Or do they just go to the nearest Canadian school? Does Hawaii go to California?”

But most people were quick to pipe up with cynical quips and hilarious observations. vada_vada said: “Everyone’s patronus would be an eagle,” thanks to its coveted position as the country’s national animal. “Bigger portions of food at the banquets, ” said skipweasel.  “Care of Magical Creatures would cover Sasquatch and jackalopes,” pointed out Mule2go. And then there’s scandalousmambo‘s point, who referenced America’s love of commercial gain: “‘It would be sponsored by Wizards of the Coast and Gatorade.” Can’t say we would disagree with that.

American Hogwarts
Source: booktrib.com

The silver medal for contribution to the American Hogwarts thread must go to deyterkourjerbs and their witty description:

“I’m British and I’ve watched many episodes of Saved By The Bell and at least 5 episodes of Beverly Hills 90210.

Firstly everyone would be very good looking because all Americans are good looking except Dustin Diamond. And everyone who was 16 would for some reason look like a model aged between 18 and 28.

You wouldn’t have Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff so much as the Jocks, the Rich Kids, the Nerds and Screech.

The quidditch team would be way more of a big deal, with the American Hermione acting as some sort of cheerleader and maintaining some sort of vendetta against the American version of Ginny for sleeping with American Harry at the homecoming dance prom. The off screen sexual arrangements would be more complicated and pretty much everyone would be plotting revenge against everyone else for doing something.

The American Harry would focus on breezing through classes and working scams on Mr Dumbledore (such as using his magic to get the test papers).”

American Hogwarts
Source: huffingtonpost.com

But the gold medal? Step up moxious_maneuver:

“Ron could not afford to go.”

On second thoughts maybe we’re content with things as they are…

Enjoyed imagining what the American Hogwarts would be like? Why not have a read of some of our other articles, including This Couple Threw a Magical Harry Potter-Themed Wedding and J.K. Rowling Has Just Revealed More About Harry Potter’s Backstory