I’ve just recently returned to work from my ‘annual leave’. I mean holiday. I was basically on my jollies for a couple of weeks around SE Asia. No, not that kind of jolly. But yeah, it was alright. I was dreading the 11-or-so-hour flight to Hong Kong, so I decided I need to make a plan of some sort or otherwise be at the mercy of severe jet lag.
My plan basically consisted of buying some sleeping tablets from the ‘pharmacy’. Something to knock me out so I wouldn’t just watch the same episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm on repeat (but that’s a pretty good way to go). My lovely girlfriend (hi!) decided she needed a travel pillow to really help her get comfortable. So after lots of research, she decided to purchase a J-Pillow, which had won the British Invention of the Year Award in 2013. I mean, it was designed by a flight attendant! And they know stuff!
From Jetlag To Jetslag
My girlfriend was really happy with her purchase. I mean, it’s soft and comfortable. More than that, though, is that it not only has support for your neck, but also helps lock your chin and jaw into position. The whole aim is for you to sleep upright without having to remain in the corpse position like other travel pillows. Anyway, while figuring out how best to use it, she came across the instructions. Perhaps the word selection there wasn’t the best. Have a look at the instructions below.
All looks pretty harmless, doesn’t it? Well look at ALL the instructions. Number 3 quickly became my personal number 1 when I saw what it was indicating. Basically, the J-Pillow also turns into a massive penis. You know, for the ladies that like that stuff. Look at the cartoon’s expressions! Don’t even get me started on number 4. Just what exactly is she doing with that schlong? No wonder it’s award-winning! The J-Pillow looks like a penis. Don’t believe us? Here’s a closer look.
Rest assured, I’ve just dumped my girlfriend. Can’t believe she was cheating on me.
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