You’re on a night out, and suddenly you catch the eye of someone. Oh, wait a minute, that’s hockey legend Jaromir Jagr staring at you! Yes, that’s right, Jaromir Jagr!! You can’t believe your luck. You open with a really corny joke, you mutter away, “Hmm, I wonder if you really have moves like Jagr”. He laughs. You laugh. You touch his arm and you catch him staring at you again. So you walk away and make him wait for it. Then you take him home and have a night of fun. The next morning while he’s asleep you think to yourself, “What would make this better? What about if I could make some money out of this?”.
So you take a selfie of you in your post-coital glow and file that picture away. When you get home you write Jaromir an email. ‘Dear Jaromir, I’ve got pictures of our session last night. You better give me exactly £1200 or I’ll send the picture to the press’. You close your Mac and you sit back knowing that you’ve not only bagged a legendary, yes LEGENDARY hockey player, but you’ve also got yourself a nice payday. What a massive win. But wait, what’s this?
BlackMail Turns To BlackFail
Ping. You’ve got a new email. It’s Jaromir. Oh my god, your heart is racing. His response is really short and curt. “Yo, umm, I’m not paying up. I don’t even have a girlfriend, so lol, joke’s on you”. Damn, how did that attempted blackmail turn into such a blackfail.
Okay so the series of events of this blackfail might just be a re-imagination by this over-caffeinated writer, but it’s quite the tale right? Model Kateřina Provazníková, 18, tried to blackmail Jaromir Jagr recently, but Jagr’s reaction was priceless and it’s pretty much sent the internet into a frenzy. People have even started to take satirical pictures in support of Jagr with the hashtag #JagrSelfie. What’s more a new sex position has been conceived. It’s called a 68 and it’s where one person is asleep and the other is taking a selfie. Incrediblé.
Jarda Jágr!😘 Na téhle fotce zbohatnu! #SbalilJsemJiNaMliko #TeamJagr #JagrSelfie A photo posted by Milan Polak (@milanpolak) on
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