To the intense dismay of men, women and children all over the globe, our beloved Tay Tay has told NME she’ll be taking some time out after her 1989 tour reaches an end later this year:
‘I think I should take some time off. People might need a break from me. I’m going to hang out with friends. Write new music. Maybe not write new music. I don’t know.’
Taylor Swift is taking a break??! NOOOOOOOO.
We feel your pain. But you’re not alone. Naturally, fans on her official site forum are freaking the hell out.
Over the last few years, she’s built an empire, an army of Swifties. They support her when she misinterprets tweets from Nicki Minaj. Or has her limelight cruelly snatched away by Kanye West and his best friend, Kanye West’s ego. So it’s hard to believe she’d leave everything she’s worked for, all for just for a little time out. The sceptic and detective in me can’t help but wonder….what is Taylor REALLY doing in her time off?
Theory 1: She’s hanging out with her cat. And Katy Perry.
It’s no secret that aside from her army of fans, she also has her super cool celeb squad by her side. From Ed Sheeran to Cara Delevingne, she knows everyone who’s worth knowing and makes sure that the world knows about it.
But what if she’s sick of her squad and just wants to hang out with her cat? Heck, she’s probably going to do the exact opposite of what we all expect and spend time with frenemy Katy Perry. They’re probably plotting world domination together right now.
Theory 2: She’s being an actual villain
Let’s face it. No one can be THIS perfect. Much like Voldemort is he-who-must-not-be-named, Taylor is she-who-can-do-no-wrong. She must be out there somewhere committing a multitude of sins.
Maybe the video to Bad Blood was an insight into her real alter ego, and she’s going to be out there somewhere fighting crime in one of those latex suits hired from that sex shop.
Theory 3: She’s just going to eat lots of food and watch Netflix
This is exactly what we wouldn’t expect Taylor to do. Which is why this is probably JUST what she needs. Forget fame. And glamour. Even the princesses of pop need beds, onesies and junk food sometimes.
Theory 4: She’s planning how to take Apple down once and for all
Back in June she pulled the classic ‘open letter’ stunt and amazingly it worked. Apple were so terrified about losing her album from Apple Music, that they changed their whole policy by agreeing to pay artists for their three-month music streaming trial period.
However, this may not be enough for Taylor. Once her mind is set on something, she makes sure she gets it. And she stops at nothing.
Theory 5: She’ll be in a dark room trying to calm down
It turns out that Ryan Adams covering 1989 in full was just a little bit too much for our Taylor to take.
PLEASE SLEEP, TAYLOR. At least TRY!
I guess we’ll just have watch this blank space….