These are the Crappest Pieces of Queen Elizabeth II Memorabilia

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On Wednesday 9th September 2015, Queen Elizabeth II will officially become Britain’s longest-serving monarch, lifting the crown from previous title-holder Queen Victoria.

While Prince Philip and Queen Liz are probably planning a good ol’ knees up with some Battenberg cake and a tipple of sherry, we’re looking to monopolise on the inevitable Queen Elizabeth tat that’s going to be doing the rounds in shops and online. Here are just some of the worst examples we’ve found from over the years:

Royal Bloomers

A pair of silk knickers, thought to belong to Queen Elizabeth II, was sold for £11,930 in 2012
Credit: Huffington Post

Well this listing is pretty pants (…sorry).

These frilly knickers were apparently left onboard the Queen’s private plane during her visit to Chile in 1968. Although Buckingham Palace have refused to confirm whether they belonged to Her Majesty, the bloomers are said to be marked with the Royal Crown cipher and have a personalised ‘E’ embroidered into them…so the chances are they probably are hers.

The uncertainty definitely didn’t put bidders off when the bloomers went on sale on eBay in 2012 – one Ebay bidder paid £11,930 to own this slice of Royal memorabilia…let’s just hope they were clean.

Money Box

This money box was created for the coronation in 1953

What better way to remind yourself of how poor you are compared to the Queen’s net worth of £360 million than by collecting all your leftover pennies in this 1953 Coronation money box?

Pen Dish

This pen dish was on sale as part of the Queen's Silver Jubilee celebrations in 1977

Everyone’s got that one favourite pen, haven’t they? For me it’s definitely my push down pen with all the different colours. Always comes in handy. Well, thank the stars for this 1977 pen dish, created to commemorate Queen Lizzy’s Silver Jubilee. Never again will my beloved pen ever have to lay itself on dirty surfaces, or mix with the common biros.

Ice Queen Scoop

This ice queen scoop aims to give the royal seal of approval to your ice cream

The manufacturers of this scooper really had to be scraping the barrel when they came up with this, surely? In its original box it kind of makes sense, but when you whip it out it just looks like any old (…head-less) head of state. Besides, who even scoops ice creams out of tubs anymore? Just devour it straight from the tub, FFS.

Queen and Corgi Bust

This rare ceramic bust of the Queen features her wearing a stole in the shape of a corgi
Credit: eBay

If there’s one thing on this list guaranteed to give you nightmares, it’ll probably be this. Imagine waking up to find this clown-faced Queen grinning manically back at you in the dark. Putting the face to one side for a moment, just why is Queen Liz wearing a stole in the shape of a corgi?! Is this corgi-murdering Queen what’s really going on behind closed doors…?