Things Kanye Would Implement as President, Haaaan

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Haaaan. So, Kanye is in the running to become president in 2020. Haaaan. He has 20:20 vision on all things that are important to the youth of today, so it all makes sense. Haaaan. Here are some of the things we predict he pushes through congress after he’s rightfully elected:

Coinye as currency

Coinye West the cryptocurrency, will it be used in 2020?

Although he already tried to sue the boffins behind this amazingly entitled cryptocurrency, we predict that Kanye will continue his relationship-building endeavours by getting into bed with them. No, not that kind of getting into bed. We just feel that a narcissist as big as Kanye would probably want his cartoon moniker all over the currency of the land he presides over, and what better way than to utilise the already “functioning” Coinyes system. Haaan.

White House being painted black


In the White House, there’s a white room with a Kanye. We predict that within days Kanye will have painted over the facade of DC’s most famous building with something more fitting. It could well be Louis Vuitton design, or even a painting of Kim, but it’s most likely just tonnes of black paint. Haaan.

Fish sticks as school dinner

Kanye West loves fishsticks

Immortalised in that South Park episode, Kanye’s love of fish sticks is well known. We suspect he’ll have this delicacy served in schools across the nation after his inauguration. Haaaan.

Beck appreciation day

kanye beck

Now that Mr. West realises how good of an artist Beck is, he’ll be sure to immortalise his friend by giving him an appreciation day all of his own. Haaan.

He’ll finally let Taylor Swift finish

Kanye West's presidential bid has generated some amazing memes

Beyonce certainly had one of the best videos of all time. But we’re still waiting to hear what Taytay had to say. Kanye 2020 will set this mistake right. Haaan.

He’ll change all mentions of Jesus to Yeezus

Kanye West's presidential bid has generated some amazing memes

Yeezus done saved you. Haaaan.