The 5 Types Of People You See At A Music Gig

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Music gigs attract a bevy of strange and wonderful people, which make them the perfect place for a spot of people-watching. The types of people at gigs vary considerably. In truth, we could probably come up with at least 500 different categories of people. (The ones who watch the concert through their phone’s camera, the ones who make approximately 4,000 trips to the toilet throughout a 90-minute concert, etc etc…). But, for now, here are the 5 types that you’ll pretty much find at every music gig:

The hard-core fans

Types of people at gigs: The ones who get SERIOUSLY into it.

These fans are probably the most easy to spot: scan the front row of any gig and there they’ll be. But they haven’t acquired their front-row spot simply by luck. For standing gigs, these fans have probably been queuing outside for weeks. They’ve been sharpening their elbows with sharp knives ever since they managed to get their grubby mits on tickets. And at some point during the gig you’ll more than likely find them dangling over the barrier or reaching out to touch the godly hand of the performer.

The ones who like their space

Types of people at gigs: The mad dancers and the ones who like their space

Getting squashed at the front of a gig? Eurgh, no thank you. These sensible ones will most likely spend their time hovering around the edges of the gig, away from the throngs of people. They’ve probably turned up around 2 minutes before the start of a gig, picked up a bottle of water (in case dehydration strikes), and secured a spot with ample space to allow them to dance wildly/do the occasional squat in order to stretch their legs.

They’re also constantly aware of the time, too. Thinking of staying until the end? Not with these folks. They’ve probably looked up the exact running time of the gig beforehand and have timed it so they leave the venue approx 7 minutes before the end. Wouldn’t want to get stuck in the stampede as people leave, would they?

The ones who appreciate a little sit-down

Types of people at gigs: A good seat is always welcome.
Now this looks like our kind of gig.

Given the choice of standing at the front or sitting down in the balcony approximately 5 miles from all the action, there really is no competition for these guys. Why would you want to put yourself through three hours of standing when you can have a civilised time with a seat and a few snacks?

The ones who have seats but really wanted to be standing

Types of people at gigs: Those who just really want to stand up all the time
SRSLY, sit down you annoying fucker

These folks probably purchased their tickets a little late, or are stuck with people from the above category. While they might have seated tickets, they don’t really expect to be using their plastic thrones at all. For some reason these people tend to be women in their 30s. They’ve usually got highlights in their hair and go by the name of ‘Tina’ or ‘Lisa’ or something. And they like to make the lives of people sitting behind them hell with their constant refusal to just sit. the. f***. down.

The ones who spend the whole gig outside drinking

Types of people at gigs: if you fancy a drink and a natter, why did you come to a gig?!

These strange creatures are rarely seen (unless you pop out for a loo break). And of all the types of people at gigs, this one’s the most baffling. Why would you buy a ticket and then just spend the whole gig outside talking? If you fancied just having a pint and a natter, why not just go to the pub?

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